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the Obsession Chronicles"If you stay open to what's happening, it can improve you
and become a gift." posted 17 March 2004 happy st. paddy's day! | ||
beauty being more than skin deepsunlight shining through the trees on the river front
when my dad was up i showed him my collection of books by "my boyfriend" as i call him * as in: i wish * as in: in my dreams * as in: that game i love to play, "is that your boy/girlfriend?" only this one's truly gorgeous (the game is a mean one, pointing out the ugliest or goofiest-looking guy/gal around) * anyway, those of you who know me will know i'm talking about Viggo & will be bored already (although you're back here again, now, aren'tcha?), but my point here is not just that i lust after him, but that i also admire, even idolize (& i mean that in the best way: i want to be like) him * i want to write about why i do so & why i think this is one of those rare obsessions for life * it's not that i feel the need to explain -- i don't care at all that a bajillion other women the world over are currently lusting after him (or should i say Aragorn?) too * it's just that my dad mentioned in an email today that i "need to get in line" & i wrote back an entire email about how i can wait & why so i thought i'd share (with you, with my future self) some of those thoughts here *
first of all, i got in line 2 years ago when i happened to see him on a silly movie called 28 Days (he was the super-sexy baseball player/sex addict) -- & i could kick myself for being so late to the party! even then i didn't bother to find out more about him or i would have a couple more of his now out of print books & cd's *
secondly, i can wait 5 or 10 (or 2) years until the masses forget about him * since i like, admire & lust after all of his art, not just his sexy, muddy, reluctant-hero Aragorn (i mean, c'mon, ladies! at least see A Walk on the Moon!), i'll still be watching him when he comes 'round to Seattle or Portland or Idaho where his horses live for poetry readings or art shows & there the line won't be quite so long & i know even now he stays till the very end *
last, but not least, it really doesn't matter if i never meet him because he's inspired me by being himself -- & that's what i'd call a Real Man -- by constantly creating (he must never sleep) in all sorts of mediums -- just for the fun of it * the way i imagine it (& it's got to go something like this 'cause the dude is prolific), he's on set, right? & he's got his camera (which is not digital -- i mean, the story is that he threw the first phone he ever owned out the window & didn't buy another till he moved to LA & his agent made him * he admitted this year that he had to go to a friend's house to watch the Oscars because his family insisted upon it &, obviously, he doesn't own a tv) tucked under his costume or his saddle or somewhere very close at hand * he puts up the pictures he takes all day, along with the poems & scribblings & doodles, all over his mirror so he doesn't have to look at himself & as he sits there he adds to it all continually * Orlando (& i could almost love him for this though that's a band wagon you won't catch me on) said he used to just sit there & stare at Viggo for hours as he drew & wrote all over his journal * broken tree
my dad also mentioned that he's not exactly the stud in "real" (anything on tv being questionable) life that he is with a wig, a sword & some blood on his face * in one or 2 of the many pictures & interviews with him i've seen i don't even think he's attractive, at least not in an accessible, obvious type way * but then he opens his mouth -- aiaiai, it's always the voice that gets me, sexiest piece of a man -- & out comes good-natured humour, humility & his fair share of wisdom (i mean, he speaks English, Spanish, Danish, Lakota, Elvish... so he's already better than most of us, y'ask me) * let's just say i would certainly love to get my fingers into his hair (whether it be greasy or glowing) & i would kiss those usually-bare feet in a second but what i really want is simply to talk with him, just to listen to him * i want to stand in front of one of his paintings, to be in the room when he recites one of his poems (en español, ¡por favor!) * ... & that's why i think i have a chance * when the rest of the world has moved on to the next Orlando, i'll have a book ready to be published by Perceval Press * i mean, Russell Crowe's a hottie & one or two of his songs even have great lyrics but he's got nothing on my boyfriend * |
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making lists: about this pagelast updated 10 January 2004
the stunning movie The Pillow Book is the inspiration for this ever-evolving page of lists * there are lots of links mixed in on my lists -- if i could find a good link on any item, i included it * some links go straight to Amazon.com or the IMDb but watch that bottom status bar because there are some other great links hidden in there * if you're interested in a little history, follow the story behind this page on the one that came before it, otherwise, click on for more rambling words and lists of beloved things -- is that an oxymoron?
the lists below may look the same but they change every time i update the page * not all of them every time, but all of them over time * as it's a new year i'm going to give them another thorough going over, keep my mind moving on to new obsessions, even though i don't completely let go of the old ones *
the 2 spots at top i'll keep -- they're always changing & besides, they please me (i'm the only audience for these pages for all i know, so why not?) * my horrorscope: i'm a woo-woo type, part pagan, so why not revel in it? & the hotties in the movies: what's life without some tasty crushes? i try to keep the list short, but when i really fall for somebody it's usually because of a generous genuine nature & then i never want to take him&her off my list * like Viggo, like Salma * i saw the elvin Cate Blanchett on Inside the Actors Studio & wow... she said "It has to be a generous act" about really giving herself to a performance emotionally, going all out as she does * the generosity of creative expression is one of my favorite concepts, the one i've begun the last 2 years with (see Viggo for last year, & Brezsny for this) * see, it's all connected * |
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my horrorscope this week
(for the week of 18 March 2004): For too long, grace has eluded you; you have had to fight your way through life. But now your luck is about to turn; your soul will get the refreshment it needs. To celebrate, imagine you're the one speaking in this poem by Theodore Roethke:
"Near the rose, in this grove of sun-parched, wind-warped madrones Among the half-dead trees, I came upon the true ease of myself, As if another person appeared out of the depths of my being, And I stood outside myself, Beyond becoming and perishing. A something wholly other, As if I swayed out on the wildest wave alive, And yet was still. And I rejoiced in being what I was." angel cards i just drew:
tranformation adventure release how am i doing?
i do rejoice in what i am (as well as wind-warped madrones), but i'm certainly ready for some turning luck & some adventurous transformation! two trees 4
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my favorite onscreen crushes:
the boys
& the girls
the best movies i've seen lately:
movies i want to see next:
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what music is playing:
what i am reading:
trilliums
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my favorite dream so far this month:
i was with my long-time friend Sarah & we found Viggo's house so we snuck in * he wasn't there & i wasn't expecting him -- i was just happy to be there * i thought i'd like to meet Pilar, his partner at Perceval, not as a way to get to him but because she shares &/or enables his vision * i was sitting on the couch when a bunch of people came in with sounds of revelry * one of them was an old friend Joseph * it's been forever since i've seen him but i was not at all surprised that he should be at the heart of where i wanted to be (actually neither Pilar nor Viggo were in the party so that's not entirely true) * he was drunker than i can imagine him being in real life but we sat on the couch talking delightedly * suddenly i noticed the painting on the wall across from us & it stopped me silent * it was huge, with the deep reds Viggo often uses, obviously his * it was of a family before & after a great loss * in the center were 3 small coffins & to the right was the whole family, then to the left, but high as though they were rising toward the lost ones, was the family that remained * all across the bottom it was pure color, colors becoming the picture as they rose * it sounds dark, & it was -- dark reds & deep blues -- but it was so pure it was magical * my other favorite dream:
i met my big crush, the little hobbit Billy Boyd who played Pippin's namesake * first he told me "Sienna, you really can't get what you want" & i don't even remember what i told him i wanted but for such a happy-go-lucky type to seem so certainly pessimistic made me really sad * but then he gave me his lucky hat! the rattiest stocking cap i've ever seen, well-loved & obviously lucky so my spirits soared back up & i woke up feeling as if i'd met my guardian angel in another form *
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birds at my feeders this week:
red #6
(downtown Corvallis) |
questionnaire:
my answers to those questions he always asks on Inside the Actors Studio are as follows (today):
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animal friends:
Pippin & Malkmus are loving the gorgeous weather we've been having (i shouldn't mention it! i hear it ends tomorrow & the rain comes back -- not that you'll catch me complaining about that either!) * they spend almost the whole day outside, chasing each other, covering each other in drool & dew, making it hard for me to concentrate 'cause Pip likes to wander off every once in a while, though he is getting really good at coming when i call, i must say * i wish i could get a picture of them playing but i've tried & given up long ago *
Pippin wants a squirrel
click for more puppy pics |
obsessions for life:
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