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the Obsession Chronicles"How can we, within our culture, begin to plant the seeds
of a life that is in love with nature?" posted 24 March 2004 | ||
a birthday being a new beginningprerolled for your pleasure!
my birthday was a couple of days ago, a couple of days after the spring equinox, a new moon & the sun's entry into Aries, the first of the 12 signs, all of which really makes it feel like the beginning of a brand new year * i can never get enough of these new beginnings, it seems * there are always one or 3 things, beliefs & even dreams that i could stand to leave behind * prolly because of this, i find the days leading up to my birthday to be somewhat troublesome * this year it was worse than most... old fights stirring from their graves made the usual "what am i doing with my life?" questions even harder * trilliums 5
not that i'm complaining! it's like spring cleaning: it's no fun while you're at it (although it is in a kinda morbid look-at-it-one-last-time-before-you-chuck-it kinda way), but afterwards you never had it so good * sure enough, the tears on Friday were nothing but smiles by Sunday * Monday, my birthday, was all mine & i enjoyed every minute of it * my phone never stopped ringing * Pippin & took a lovely walk on the river front & our little skater punk crush (actually he -- um, i'm really bad at this -- rides a little rebel-lookin' bike, what do you call that? i only just discovered that it was a bike because usually when i see him -- which is every time it's sunny -- he's just hangin', not ridin') chased us down to say hi & give us a couple pets for Pip & a couple super genuine smiles for me * when i got home the neighbors left me a sixer of Rogue & a big cookie on the porch & only drank one of them while they fed me pizza & we watched Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, one of my many little gifts to myself *
delightful, see? it is a generous universe!
speaking of... i'm thinking of my wish to make a book & it's coming to me as i work this page... growing time is on us! |
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making lists: about this pagelast updated 10 January 2004
the stunning movie The Pillow Book is the inspiration for this ever-evolving page of lists * there are lots of links mixed in on my lists -- if i could find a good link on any item, i included it * some links go straight to Amazon.com or the IMDb but watch that bottom status bar because there are some other great links hidden in there * if you're interested in a little history, follow the story behind this page on the one that came before it, otherwise, click on for more rambling words and lists of beloved things -- is that an oxymoron?
the lists below may look the same but they change every time i update the page * not all of them every time, but all of them over time * as it's a new year i'm going to give them another thorough going over, keep my mind moving on to new obsessions, even though i don't completely let go of the old ones *
the 2 spots at top i'll keep -- they're always changing & besides, they please me (i'm the only audience for these pages for all i know, so why not?) * my horrorscope: i'm a woo-woo type, part pagan, so why not revel in it? & the hotties in the movies: what's life without some tasty crushes? i try to keep the list short, but when i really fall for somebody it's usually because of a generous genuine nature & then i never want to take him&her off my list * like Viggo, like Salma * i saw the elvin Cate Blanchett on Inside the Actors Studio & wow... she said "It has to be a generous act" about really giving herself to a performance emotionally, going all out as she does * the generosity of creative expression is one of my favorite concepts, the one i've begun the last 2 years with (see Viggo for last year, & Brezsny for this) * see, it's all connected * |
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my horrorscope this week
(for the week of 25 March 2004): For months now, you've been cultivating a more mature relationship with obstacles. You've begun to see them less as punishments doled out by an unfair universe and more as interesting, growth-inducing challenges provided by a generous universe. If you do nothing else but master this perspective in the next eight months, I'll declare 2004 a success. Are you ready for the next big breakthrough in your noble struggle to refine how you struggle?
angel cards i just drew:
honesty adventure faith how am i doing?
yes, obstacles... i am learning to appreciate them & the way they interfere with -- or i should say direct -- my dreams * it is a struggle, but one that feeds the heart * the universe may not be fair but it certainly is generous * stand 4
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my favorite onscreen crushes:
the boys
& the girls
the best movies i've seen lately:
movies i want to see next:
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what music is playing:
what i am reading:
blossoming through winter's debris
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my favorite dream so far this month:
i was with my long-time friend Sarah & we found Viggo's house so we snuck in * he wasn't there & i wasn't expecting him -- i was just happy to be there * i thought i'd like to meet Pilar, his partner at Perceval, not as a way to get to him but because she shares &/or enables his vision * i was sitting on the couch when a bunch of people came in with sounds of revelry * one of them was an old friend Joseph * it's been forever since i've seen him but i was not at all surprised that he should be at the heart of where i wanted to be (actually neither Pilar nor Viggo were in the party so that's not entirely true) * he was drunker than i can imagine him being in real life but we sat on the couch talking delightedly * suddenly i noticed the painting on the wall across from us & it stopped me silent * it was huge, with the deep reds Viggo often uses, obviously his * it was of a family before & after a great loss * in the center were 3 small coffins & to the right was the whole family, then to the left, but high as though they were rising toward the lost ones, was the family that remained * all across the bottom it was pure color, colors becoming the picture as they rose * it sounds dark, & it was -- dark reds & deep blues -- but it was so pure it was magical * my other favorite dream:
i met my big crush, the little hobbit Billy Boyd who played Pippin's namesake * first he told me "Sienna, you really can't get what you want" & i don't even remember what i told him i wanted but for such a happy-go-lucky type to seem so certainly pessimistic made me really sad * but then he gave me his lucky hat! the rattiest stocking cap i've ever seen, well-loved & obviously lucky so my spirits soared back up & i woke up feeling as if i'd met my guardian angel in another form *
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birds at my feeders this week:
pink #1
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questionnaire:
my answers to those questions he always asks on Inside the Actors Studio are as follows (today):
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animal friends:
Pippin & Malkmus are both passed out from an adventure by the river (i'm watching Malk for a couple of days) that we all enjoyed very much * most of the pictures on this page are from our walk -- the get to go off-leash at the river park & i only had to chase them twice so i'd say it worked out well for all of us *
flower boy
click for more puppy pics |
obsessions for life:
friends for life
(i hope -- i know):
this one's for you Jason!
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