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the Obsession Chroniclesposted 31 October 2003 | |
Happy Hallowe'en!good momentsthe terrible 3 of Twin Maple Lane continue to enjoy & improve life as often as possible... * we had a fantastic adventure in Portland that started because i wanted to go see the Flaming Lips playing with the Red Hot Chili Peppers & lasted (almost) as long as Sunshine wanted it to * we drank beers at 2 different McMenamins, bought some music, bought some posters, went crazy in an awesome fabric shop, ate dinner with our fingers at Jarra's (gin & tonics for Ralphie), slept a little & came home early Wednesday morning, exhausted but refreshed *
Nathan (almost) finished the first picnic table & Sunshine & christened it right away with a lunch of burritos & good wine in crystal glasses * it has been so sunny & gorgeous (but suddenly cold this morning!) here... i was taken with the rainbow pattern that seems to be appearing in my life a lot lately (since the sunset on Mary's Peak) * i never was much of a rainbow type girl but it's starting to feel like communication from my guardian angels... slow down... enjoy it all... open to the little beauties of every day... the universe providinga couple of weeks ago i had the worst dream since the ones right before i left Oly (in which i was convinced i was awake but everything was all wrong) * Bob was going to kill Iverson (i gotta admit, i miss nothing about Oly more than that dog) & so i decided i had to kill Bob (!) * i was sure of myself but i was shaky scared as i struggled to pull a piece of orange cord down over a wall * the cord turned into a big fat nylon rope that was too coarse to use & i was running out of time when i woke up crying * gee... i wonder what that means, hunh? i'm still feeling the death of that other life, the ties breaking down to the very last thread * maybe i'm accepting it a little more? that's a hard one... it does feel like they're both dead to me now & i hate it but i've got to accept it *
i was telling Sunshine about it (more tears) a few hours later when Nathan came home telling me to pack up in a hurry 'cause he had to drive out to Bend to drop off a check for his boss * that meant he could spend the afternoon climbing at Smith Rock, with me as belay * me? go outside? yes, please! i grabbed a few things, mostly my camera & a fistfull of film * he grabbed some food, made sure his truck was well-stocked & about 3 hours later we were walking down the trail toward the Crooked River winding around the big red spiky beautiful Smith Rock * i enjoyed belaying & was quite amused to spend the afternoon feeding a rope (a much nicer one than in the dream) up & down a rock wall ...sometimes i can almost hear the fates laughing at me * | ||
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Smith Rock & tree (below) |
Mary's Peak sunset (above) | |
i didn't try any climbing myself that day & if you want to know the truth i spent more time wishing i could take tons of pictures of all the climbers all over the rich crackly craggy rock * as i gave slack & took it back i made a mental series of photos climbing a route up a wall in the back of my mind of each move that made up the route i was watching Nathan climb * between climbs we scampered up to the top of a ridge to look over to the river on the other side & beyond to the mild green-yellow land stretching out to the West, toward 8 mountains which Nathan named for me & again for the Brit climber who'd followed us up: Bachelor, Broken Top, 3 Sisters, Washington, Jefferson, Hood * i got my photo shoot up there, snapped more pictures along the trail to the next climb as the light played shadows all over the rock *
that night, after a blazing fire & a bottle of pink wine to wash down a delicious supper of leftover roast chicken & taters, i fell asleep in my beloved down sleeping bag wishing i could leave my eyes open all night to watch Mars & all those stars sparkle over the river-full desert land of eastern Oregon * there were no bad dreams * | ||
living well being the best revenge
it's all about the little things * life at Twin Maple Lane is full & good -- i cannot complain * got a fire going to take care of the sudden drop in temperature * it is gorgeous sunny out & we've got one of our picnic tables ready to get sanded & stained & Nathan started the hexagonal one (one piece: the hexagonal center) & i sure hope he finishes it before it's time for him to go * i'm still in love with my bench on the back porch & Jane is crazy if she thinks that's not leaving when i do * i'm pretty sure the tables won't stay either once Sunshine & i go * the geese fly by every morning in huge flocks of trailing, constantly changing v's * they know this lovely weather is about to change *
i am loving the photography, such a good mood today 'cause i got some pics back late last night (a special treat after a day of hard work on a tricky challenge) * finally ordered up my digital camera so that should at least triple the fun... oo! no sooner had i written that than the doorbell rang: ups guy with my camera! here i was already skipping around the house delighted at my good mood & now i can look forward to some fun pictures tonight in Portland or wherever we end up *
i've done a few oil pastel drawings, keep doing the poems... some of them good * right now i'm working on Nathan's idea of thinking up a charm necklace where each charm is a person who had an impact on your life * i've been making a list & wow... that's a lot of people & there are some places i want to include too * obviously the terrible 3 would have to go on each of ours... i just can't get over how lucky i am to have ended up here! | ||
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making lists: about this pagethe stunning movie The Pillow Book is the inspiration for this ever-evolving page of lists * there are lots of links mixed in on my lists -- if i could find a good link on any item, i included it * some links go straight to Amazon.com or the IMDb but watch that bottom status bar because there are some other great links hidden in there * if you're interested in a little history, follow the story behind this page on the one that came before it, otherwise, read on for more rambling words and lists of beloved things -- is that an oxymoron? | |
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my horrorscope today
(for the week of 23 Oct): You have two biological parents, four grandparents, and eight great-grandparents. You wouldn't be you if it weren't for those 14 people. The legacy they bequeathed you played a major role in determining your talents and flaws, your predilections and aversions. And this is a perfect astrological moment to get to know them better. In fact, deepening your connection to your family's history will provide crucial clues as you seek to reinvigorate your tired old perspectives on long-running dilemmas. Are you brave enough to mutate your understanding of where you came from and where, therefore, you belong? Halloween costume suggestion: the ancestor who fascinates you the most.
angel cards i just drew:
freedom courage humour how am i doing?
interesting that Brezsny should mention family... i certainly do want to figure out where i belong, or be led there or however it is that happens * looking back on those 14 people, wow, i got a group might not be able to agree that it was raining outside * i guess that means my options are wide open * the ancestor who fascinates me most is one who lived a long time ago: a woman who was burned as a witch because she took a long journey by foot in a bad storm & didn't get her petticoats dirty (or at least that's how i remember the story) * just can't win, can we, girls? freedom is the name of the little girl runs around this place free as any 3-year-old, freer than most * courage & humour are right here with me as i face forward toward my wide open life * i'll find freedom & belonging both, that's how good it's gonna be * |
movie star crushes:
the best movies i've seen lately:
movies i want to see next:
what music is playing:
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tv shows i watch unless there's som'm better to do (usually there is):
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i am a sports fiend:
nothing much to fiend about right now... i do love cooking with football in the background & i'm happy that hockey & basketball are starting up again * the only bad thing about my two companions here is that they don't like sports, except hockey some * they'll watch if i turn it on but we have a lot more fun just babbling with one eye on the game *
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birds at my feeders:
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something good happened the other day:
last Saturday i went to Nathan's jobsite & took pictures all day * i filled up 3 rolls of film, almost 100 pictures & now that i've seen them i wish i'd taken more * & i cooked:
chiles rellenos for the first time *
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animal friends:
i often take breaks to say hi to Malkmus, the gorgeous, silly, sashaying black lab who lives next door & loves my bird bath as much as the birds do * he helps... he makes me think i will be able to get a dog pretty soon ... i'm in no big hurry * what i really want is to have my dog but the thing is... he's not mine any more, not at all... i don't even know how he's doing * sometimes you just gotta let go, i guess *
ahem... then there are the goats, abby who gives milk which goes into all my soups & sweet annie who's pregnant & Sandy & Splash, the chickens who've laid 9 eggs so far * Nola, a big sweet rottie & KoKo live up at the big house & like to dig * Jane's 3 are gone with Jane so it prolly would be a good time to get a dog (not that i trust i'll get one as special) * Ocean finally went back to Sunshine's & now she won't let me let him in when he meows at the door *
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what i am reading now:
sayings on my mind:
it's all connected *
all things in moderation * use it or lose it * the answer's usually both * nobody's just anybody * regrettin' shit is a waste of time * i'd rather regret som'm i did than som'm i didn't * one door never closes without another one opening * there are no innocents * life is bittersweet * damn, we're in a tight spot * |
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weaknesses:
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things i collect:
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